Thanks For Nothing, Billy Blanks

I went out dancing on Friday with my friends and this guy kept grabbing my butt. After a couple of times of craftily dancing away I turned around and slapped him in the face. I've never slapped anyone, and I have to say that I think everybody should try it at least once because it feels pretty gratifying. My sense of strength increased enormously afterwards, and so when ten minutes later some huge guy on the street grabbed me I thought I could take him no problem. I tried to hit him but he grabbed my arm like he was going to break it. Thank God my friend Spoon was around to step in and help me. At that point I realized that hours of Billy Blanks and weight training mean nothing in the real world. Damn.

My Columbian friend A got mugged the same night. She was speaking English to a salesperson and two guys grabbed her bag from her. They were walking away and calling her a stupid American so she yelled that she's actually Columbian. They asked her to speak Spanish, and when they heard her they apologized and gave her back her stuff. And that's a true story.

Hmm, que mas? This guy helped me buy a sim card to prove to me as an American that arabs are nice. He got me a seven euro discount, which was pretty great. But then he told me that he wanted to destroy America. I wasn't really sure what to make of that.
The whole time he was talking to me about the hardships of his people, but then when a black girl walked by he said "those blacks are always dancing!"

I'm done with being from the States and studying Litterature. Today I told somebody that I'm from London studying law. I think I might stop being twenty, as well. And I need a new fake name. On Friday this guy asked me for the names of my friends and I, so I went around introducing them all with fake names. Then when I got to my Polish friend she told me "No, that's not my name!" Way to ruin it.